Cookie-Jarring

Noun (informal)

Pronunciation
KOO-kee JAR-ing

IPA (International Phonetic Alphabet)
/ˈkʊk.i ˈdʒɑːr.ɪŋ/

Lexicographic Status
Culturally accepted term used in discussions of modern dating and digital communication.

Definition
Cookie-jarring refers to a dating behaviour in which a person keeps someone as a secondary romantic option while pursuing other relationships. The individual provides intermittent attention—such as messages, dates, or flirtation—to maintain the connection without committing to the relationship.

Cultural Context
The term emerged in discussions of modern digital dating culture, where dating apps and social media make it easier for individuals to maintain multiple potential partners simultaneously. Cookie-jarring is often discussed alongside related behaviours such as benching, breadcrumbing, and orbiting, which describe similar patterns of ambiguous or non-committal communication in contemporary dating environments.

Sources
Psychology Today
VICE
Forbes

Related Terms in The Women’s Archive
Ghosting
Soft Ghosting
Breadcrumbing
Zombieing
Situationship
Future Faking
Love Bombing

Read more

WLW (Women Loving Women)

WLW (Women Loving Women)

Noun (informal) Pronunciation W-L-W IPA (International Phonetic Alphabet) /ˌdʌb.əl.juː ˌɛl ˈdʌb.əl.juː/ Lexicographic Status Culturally accepted term used in discussions of sexuality, identity, and queer relationships. Definition WLW, short for women loving women, refers to an umbrella term used to describe women who are romantically or sexually

Comphet (Compulsory Heterosexuality)

Comphet (Compulsory Heterosexuality)

Noun (informal) Pronunciation KOM-phet IPA (International Phonetic Alphabet) /ˈkɒmˌhɛt/ Lexicographic Status Culturally accepted term used in discussions of sexuality, identity, and modern dating culture. Definition Comphet, short for compulsory heterosexuality, refers to the social assumption or pressure that women are naturally attracted to men, regardless of their actual feelings or

U-Hauling

U-Hauling

Noun (informal) Pronunciation YOO-hawl-ing IPA (International Phonetic Alphabet) /ˈjuːˌhɔː.lɪŋ/ Lexicographic Status Culturally accepted term used in discussions of queer dating culture and relationships. Definition U-hauling refers to a dating stereotype originating within lesbian, sapphic, and women-loving-women (WLW) communities in which relationships are perceived to become serious very quickly, often

Floodlighting

Floodlighting

Noun (informal) Pronunciation FLUHD-light-ing IPA (International Phonetic Alphabet) /ˈflʌdˌlaɪ.tɪŋ/ Lexicographic Status Culturally accepted term used in discussions of modern dating and digital communication. Definition Floodlighting refers to a dating behaviour in which a person shares excessive personal or emotional information early in a relationship in order to create a